My Brainstorming To Understanding
This is just some sort of a theory in my head about how to connect things in love life and how to let them go when needed. It’s not a professional piece of work, these are just my thoughts put on paper. I’m not a psychologist nor am I trying to be one. All I’m doing is freeing my own mind expanding my limits on a small and yet so big world beyond understanding the visual things and situations in life. In this example “Friendship & Love Life”
Lots of things cannot be explained, some can’t even be imagined without a source to create an image. I have also wondered why some things exist as they are but that is a matter that should never be questioned. A good example of these is Love because there are many things described within its meaning while the half of it has been forgotten or eradicated by our own thoughts, by our own view on things. Not so long ago I’ve experienced something like that, when my friend wrote down the following words:
“Just drop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life… All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion, from the moment that we found ourselves drowning in…….”
This made me think about the word “Compassion” which is something I’ve never thought about before. I understood her clearer than she could imagine but the moment she was supposed to realize this fact, she had already made her decision. Now I’m writing this little brainstorming session to reveal my thoughts to myself and put things in the right order.
A true source of compassion is not easy to find, it’s more than a feeling and more than just words. Compassion is a word hard to describe when you’re unable to see it even thought it’s always near us, a word hard to accept when you know it’s there but you cannot feel it. It has always been hard to believe in things you cannot see, but if it is so hard to understand that they exist from the moment we are born; why do we even bother trying to find them? Now it comes to the fact, that wishing for nothing more than compassion is merely a desire because we feel like it’s always been that little something we wanted but never had. All these years it has been right in front of us but we were too blind to see it! Is it because we don’t accept the fact that compassion is something like mercy or some sort of influence which brings down our self-confidence? Is it because we’ve had enough of people saying that they feel sorry for you and that they always try to help even though we feel like we can handle it ourselves or is it because they never do? Many possibilities reside behind our senses and behind our own thoughts, we all know that each one of us thinks in a different way and that is why we find it hard to see things the way we don’t want them to be. In fact, all our thoughts are more or less the same, we think the same about many things, and it’s just the words and their order which we change to create our own non-fictional image or meaning. Although this is just a theory, it does not exclude its possibility of being involved as at least one of the mind-playing factors which we create for ourselves.
Another way of finding compassion is “Love”, this one is neither easy nor difficult to understand because everyone has an own view upon it. Many think that love is nothing more than a word, for some it may mean more than just a word but for the most of us, this word means more than some people are capable of understanding. This is one of the meanings which have been eradicated, erased from our thoughts and feelings; it is one of those things which evolve by interacting with persons surroundings. The difficulty of understanding the words “Love” and “Compassion” is very often underestimated; this is mainly because we never think about it. We all know that understanding “Compassion” can be really confusing in certain cases but what to think of “Love”, which is one of those sources where compassion can unquestionably be found in?
Relations for example; many of them come to an end while there is also this other side where they stay intact. Every relationship chain ends because of a reason but the hard part about this whole thing is understanding the power and influence of the meaning within the reason itself. What can we judge upon what a reason is and what not? How can we decide whether a reason indeed “is” a good reason when it only comes from one side? This comes more to a personal characteristic called “selfishness”. If one decides to break the relationship while the other is left behind in grief, what kind of decision would that make it then? A decision coming from one side should affect both in a positive way even though it is not the positive solution that it’s going to bring in the end.
A relationship can be established in many ways, whether it be just physical attraction or need, whether it be love at first sight or not. It all has to do with what we decide! So we decide to laugh and be happy, live on or end our lives, spend our time doing what we like or spend it doing nothing at all. Everyone knows one of the most common sayings “Life is what you make it”; this is another thing to prove that we think the same about many things even though we do not realize it. If life would be what we make it, would some of us end up dead? Think for example of people who commit suicide! The same I look against a relationship, if the reason to break up isn’t good enough to really convince you of his or hers being right, then the whole meaning of “Life is what you make it” falls apart. First of all, if one makes the decision while the other has an opposite view, it would leave that person with no choice. This is eventually just one of the millions of examples that could be mentioned on this subject, the one example of relations that I used is actually too small and complicated to neutralize the “Life is what you make it” meaning. We all get to choose what to do with various situations but some people limit that choice and you end up having none. So you tell me how that is “A choice ““we”” make”? On the other hand the negative choices are made in order to get a positive result, so based on what I’ve said above I can also tell that not every negative leads to a negative result. As it may be a negative decision for both it may yet bring you a positive result in the end and this is what makes our thinking different once again. Some will say that a negative choice is always resulting in something negative while we instinctively know that it’s only the thought that’s making it negative. The moment you join forces with the negative side of your mind it leads to depression!
Choices we make decide our next moves; our moves give us new possibilities and new choices to make. Every situation has a different way of handling; this is because every situation has various ways to be handled within our heads. It is what we do, what we think is the best in a certain situation. We could use a situation of jealousy as an example; one would rather get into a fight because of jealousy while the other would rather sit down and talk about it. Another way of expressing this jealousy is to make a gap in-between yourself and the person you want to take distance from! It is nor aggressive nor passive because somehow it doesn’t harm a person while it draws his or her attention in a slow and insecure way. It is also a way for which the result cannot be influenced by the purity of own will since it is not sure how a person will react on it. What one person does makes the other react, one decision or even just a thought is a reason or a chain link to what the other person will do. This way it keeps on going until the final result is the outcome whether it be positive or negative.
How can we tell if the outcome is really that what we want it to be? Well the best answer is “We can’t”! Once both sides have made their decisions and the outcome slowly evolves to its final stage there can be no more arguing or fighting. Doing so will only make the hardships between the two more complicated and eventually it might lead to anger and hate, but this is not always a fact. It will always remain “a” possibility!
Words are agood way to surround the result as if trying to change and adjust it to your own desires. In some cases this can be a serious mistake but in other it can be stronger than the outcome itself. You could say that it’s like going back in time and correcting some mistakes within the discussion before the result had shown itself. Another way to keep more pressure on someone’s decisions is to add emotional aspects into the situation. Many people attempt to amplify the feeling by getting into an emotional state like sadness or even worse, depression! When a person is touched by others decisions whether that be because of sadness or happiness, it puts pressure on the decisions made. Nevertheless, it is not likely to use these emotional factors and fake them.
“Imagine yourself faking your emotional behavior because your partner wants to break up. You succeed to change that persons mind and you stay together, but what does that say about your feelings for the relation and the person self? Think about it for a little while and try to realize the actual lie you’re telling yourself and the person you are with!”
Feelings are created from the day we are born and develop or better said “evolve by enhancement with social interactivities and surroundings” with each day as we get older, but how to judge whether these feelings will change you to being someone you don’t really want to be? How to realize them and take control of them in every situation needed? The answer to that question is impossible to tell for each individual has his own reasons for feeling, doing and eventually evolving.
Well I surely hope you liked it and hope to hear some feedback on the writing. It was just a thing I couldn’t explain no matter how I tried but realised it wouldn’t harm “if” I tried!
Thanks for reading,
Nikola Sokol
